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[red_hoods]

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[bildungsromans]

[ Continued from here. ]

Love you too, Jay.

How's all that takeout coming along?

[red_hoods]

Don't start, dick.

you know i'm only bringing 1% of all that shit you just said. i don't even know why i'm going.
hopefully just to piss you off.

[bildungsromans]

If you really wanna push my buttons, you'll get decaf.

But I'll never know unless you bring the receipt, so the ensuing placebo effect could still keep me going!

[red_hoods]

i'll bring decaf and make it one of those super weird unnecessary pumpkin things.

I'll show you all the receipts. alone with your less than spicy burger.

[bildungsromans]

This your version of coal, then?

Never occurred to me how great a Santa you'd be, actually. 'Red Hood' and all...

[red_hoods]

could be worse.

you really do just say everything that pops into your head, don't you.

[bildungsromans]

With a codename like yours, it was only a matter of time before I'd say it.

Would you rather be an elf, then?

[ If that makes Jason visualize Bruce as Santa - for all the pain it'll inflict - this will all be worth it. ]

[red_hoods]

your order is getting worse and worse, i hope you know that.

screw you, grayson.

[he's picturing it alright. little booties and all. and now Dick is getting a wad of lettuce instead of a burger ]

[bildungsromans]

The cheaper it is, the less I owe you, at least.

You really do have my best interests at heart... damn...

[red_hoods]

changed my mind. i'm ordering everything on the menu.

you wish.

[bildungsromans]

And you'll carry all that? For me? Possibly in a sack?

You could've just said you wanted to be Santa!

[red_hoods]

(continued from here)


I am. I have my cranberry wine and I'm talking to you.

why not? would you rather we did the face thing?

[red_hoods]

no, i'm gonna steal a car and shove it all in the trunk, smartass.

that's more your thing, not mine.

[success_story]

i really am working, you know
that wasn't a ruse to dodge you

so
did you set aside time just to text me or is this just a nice confluence of schedule?

[red_hoods]

are you fighting a militia of men or are you sitting at a computer?

I felt like talking to you so I texted you. Why's this such a bad, ubfun thing? You told me to talk to you about shit.

[success_story]

im keeping the titans in communique, so...computer, dealing with the militia

no I’m glad I just thought you wanted a push out, idk I would want the push out I didn’t realize that we were TALKING

I’m glad, that’s not what I was saying

[red_hoods]

I'm sure if I'm impeding your job in any way you'll let me know.

why would I want to go out? I'm always out. Everything I do is out. I would have gone out if you were here, though.

So now we're talking and I'm not shooting anyone. Feels like an improvement to me.

[success_story]

I mean, yeah, that’s better than some options
so you’d go out with me? is what you’re saying? should I start making an itinerary for Christmas?

[red_hoods]

maybe to you it is, but sure, we'll go with that.
we could go out. if you were here.
what kind of itinerary?

[success_story]

idk whatever you’re comfortable with
we’ve never gone out for dinner
you’ve never danced with me

[red_hoods]

...I don't dance.

[success_story]

I think I can teach you
you have some decent instinctive moves

[red_hoods]

Are you seriously trying to convince me to dance?
i would be shit at it.

[success_story]

whoa whoa you DID just say you’d go out with me if I was there
are you backtracking?

[red_hoods]

you're a little shit, you know that? You know I didn't mean dancing. I meant like,
going to get food or something.